The Spurs are in the Finals. If there was ever a time for me to talk AT LENGTH about my trip from San Antonio to Miami, yesterday was NOT it.
But here’s what happened:
Part 1 – SA Airport
I had a 7:20am flight. My family warped my mind over 20 years to believe that you actually do arrive at the airport two hours before you fly. No one else does this. They are right. My family is wrong. But it’s a mental thing. So, I got to the airport at 5:30am.
I had broadcast equipment to check. I get into the line. There’s a group of young kids. They have cheerleader logos. I stand behind them. Their “adult” supervision shows up. Cuts right in front of me. So, I said “excuse me, but I got here before you did.”
Lead mom’s response: “we are a group. We aren’t moving. Why don’t you just deal with it.”
Oh. Sidebar: cheerleading moms are just the worst people on Earth. If your wife is a cheerleader mom, divorce her. She’s a miserable shell of a human being. I have two facts about cheerleader moms. 1. They are always going to Florida for a competition. 2. They are the rudest [explicit] in our country. If we sent cheerleader moms to a peace summit, we would be on the brink of World War 3.
Cheerleading is not a sport. Cheerleader moms are one step BELOW dance moms because they think it is. It’s not.
Anyway, one of the American Airlines staff took pity on me and put me in the express line. Did you know that American Airlines charges $25 per bag? I didn’t. I now know.
My flight was delayed 30 minutes because of weather in Dallas.
Upon boarding (an hour late), the pilot informed the passengers that the weather at DFW was so bad, it backed up all the flights.
HERE’S WHERE IT GOT GOOD…
Our plane was scheduled to taxi out to the tarmac in SA where we would wait an additional 90 MINUTES before taking off! And IF you wanted to get off the plane, you would be doing so voluntarily…therefore, you would NOT be able to retrieve any of your checked luggage!!!
Needless to say, we were stuck.
Part 2 – The Takeoff
We finally leave SA at 10am. But we don’t fly directly to DFW. We fly to Odessa to fly some circles around Permian HS before finally flying to DFW! Full hearts. Clear eyes. Can’t land.
Arrive DFW at 11:14am. Fortunately, my connecting flight was delayed by 2.5 hours. I shovel down a Chili’s To-Go sandwich (10 bucks!) and get on board.
Our flight is supposed to be 2.5 hours. It takes 3 hours, 50 minutes!!
Here’s my text exchange with my boss upon arriving in Fort Lauderdale:
Hey, I’m here. I’ll be late for the show by at least 30 minutes.
What? You’ve been in the air this long? Did they stop someplace else?
Nope. Just direct to FLL.
Yikes! I’ll see if Duel can start things off for you.
Part 3 – The Arrival
Did you know the weather in Miami is not sunny? Like ever? 20 minutes after arriving, it’s thunder and lightning. Dumping rain.
Welcome back to South Florida, Sheen. Watch your back.